She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
