id be glad to
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
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