in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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