ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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