i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
