My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
