yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
babies were throwing up all over the place
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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