Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
