OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
