The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
