She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Randomize
