You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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