Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
