It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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