no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize