I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
