she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
