I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
