Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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