lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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