we have pet lesbian snakes
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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