dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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