the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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