My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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