so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
