you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
try to milk me bitch
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
