Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
He told me they were just razor bumps!
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
