census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
