DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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