Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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