I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
