so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I have aggressive nipples.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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