Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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