she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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