Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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