I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
