East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
honey bunches of taint.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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