Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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