Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
