i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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