I think scott just propositioned me for sex
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize