$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
