I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
