i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Green mimosas i think yes
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
