would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize