You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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