watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
