I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
