I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
