Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Randomize