so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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