Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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