I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
