Yo dont text me then not text me
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
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