I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
