if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I need mimosas to revive my soul
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
