But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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