What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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