hotel room ftw
Pappa wants mamma naked
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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