Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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