he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
