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Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
