She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
